The whole culture of touch is different
here. From the very moment you meet someone, you're kissing them on
the cheek in greeting. There are some rules. For one, the kiss is
really just a cheek-touching and a kissy noise. And for another, this
greeting never happens between two men, though a man-woman cheek kiss
is perfectly acceptable. That aside, almost every encounter between people
begins with a kiss.
One day a group of students swarmed me
outside of class, pressing in on me, asking if we were going to have
class. They persisted and persisted and then one of them grabbed my
arm and started shaking it around. By instinct, I grabbed my arm away
and said, “Don't touch me.” To me, the touch felt like a breach
of the respect that is owed a teacher, but for them, it was hilarious
that I would tell them not to touch me.
Touch customs between strangers get
even more interesting. Standing in the line at the grocery store, I
always feel like the person behind me is standing uncomfortably
close. So I edge forward the tiniest bit, and the person behind me
inevitably edges forward as well. Sometimes I feel a little
indignant; are they in such a hurry to get through the line? But it's
not that at all – it's just that people here don't seem to mind being close to each other.
This phenomenon is carried to an
extreme when boarding the bus. Fifteen minutes before the bus from
Esteli leaves for San Nicolas, it pulls into its designated parking
spot. People have already formed a line, but when the bus pulls up,
all sense of orderliness implied by the line explodes. Men run from
the back of the line to the back of the bus, where they know they can
get in the second door to get a seat before they're all taken.
Everyone else pushes forcefully forward, pushing each other out of
the way with all their strength to get in the front door. Bottlenecks
ensue and sometimes it takes a while before anyone at all can get in
the door. Even family members, neighbors, and friends compete
fiercely with each other, and no one seems to mind in the least the
aggressive pushing and touching that takes place.
The only exception to this rule that
we've noticed is between married couples. It might be different in
different parts of Nicaragua, but here in the campo, you rarely see
married couples together in public, and you almost never see them
being affectionate – physically or otherwise – with each other.
We haven't figured out if this stems from the machismo view that the
woman's place is in the home, or if it's just plain old physical
modesty. Whatever the cause, romantic touch in public between a
married couple is almost nonexistent.
But for the most part, physical touch
is a much more comfortable part of everyday life here, between
strangers and friends alike. I have heard this same observation made
of other cultures; it makes me wonder if the American culture of
physical distance is really the anomaly on a world scale.